


All Is Violent

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Monster (Music Video), Angst, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 18:58:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Junmyeon and Jongdae find themselves alone, faced with the decision to kill the armed officials sent after their rebellious gang and face the guilt or not. The choice seems obvious, but Junmyeon is tired of carrying the weight of so many deaths alone.





	All Is Violent

“The raid is about to start,” Jongdae whispered in Junmyeon’s ear. Junmyeon lifted a hand to signal he had heard and stood up to look at his men. Their hide out had been found almost a week ago, and police had been looking for ways to breach the compound without alerting them. But Junmyeon was smarter than that. Police coming anywhere _near_ what he called home, set off multiple alarms. Naturally, they had immediately evacuated and were simply waiting for the raid to start, to trigger the explosives inside. The leader was sad to be destroying a place he had spent so many months in, especially since him and his men had essentially made it the perfect hide out, with alarms, surveillance, training rooms, and everything else they could possibly need. Who said hiding from the government couldn’t be somewhat glamorous.

   Despite his current title as “fugitive”, Junmyeon hadn’t always been a criminal. His family’s money may have come from questionable sources, but he himself had always been clean. That was until the already strict government had become a literal tyranny.

   "Junmyeon.“ Jongdae crept back to his side. "I think they’re starting. The place is surrounded by snipers.”

   "Good,“ he replied, taking a deep breath. "Let’s go.” He got up and followed Jongdae to the front of the bus they were camped in, trying not to wake up some of his sleeping men. His knee banged against Minseok’s shoe and the man’s eyes opened. They exchanged and glance before Minseok relaxed again and went back to sleep.

   "Wouldn’t they want to be awake for this?“ Jongdae questioned, perched on one of the foldable chairs they’d set up near the controls.

   "I’m sure some of them would, but they’re exhausted.” Junmyeon glanced over his shoulder, heart momentarily swelling with pride. His men were, in his opinion, some of the bravest people on this planet, and he had nothing but admiration for them. He turned back to look at Dae, who’s eyebrows were slightly raised.

   "So am I…“ he complained, making a face and the leader chuckled.

   "You insisted on staying awake for this,” Junmyeon pointed out and his friend gave him a small pout before turning to the multiple screens that had been fixated at different angles, all connected to the camera’s in their compound. They both waited in silence, occasionally shifting between the outdoors and in door ones. More armed forces seemed to be gathering, mostly tanks. Massive men with big bullet proof vests and large automatic guns.

   "I’m flattered they put all of this together for us, but aren’t they overestimating us?“ Jongdae snorted, watching a guy toy with his machine gun. "They look like they’re expecting an army of a few hundred.”

   "I doubt it. They’ve _under_ estimated us before. Seems like they learned their lesson. Plus, the more guys in there, the more men they’ll have to replace.“ Junmyeon stopped on those words, surprised at how cruel they sounded. Jongdae gave him a slightly weary look before shrugging.

   "You’re not wrong,” he simply said. “Oh oh, they’re approaching.” Jongdae hit his friend’s lap eagerly as they watched the men separate into a few groups and begin circling the compound. After a few second, they kicked down the doors. Immediately, the alarms within the compound were set off. Men poured into the building, gum at the ready. From their stance, Junmyeon deduced that they didn’t into to take any prisoners.

 

Once the majority of the men were in the building, searching every room for a secret hide out, Junmyeon took the briefcase next to him and opened it. As he looked at the deadly device, guilt started oozing into his consciousness. It was stupid to think about their families and personal lives when they clearly didn’t care who they hurt and what house hold they destroyed. Yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling he was passing a threshold, something that would seal what he was. Not just fighting for his survival, but purposefully baiting and killing people. Even if they were the bad guys. His stomach clenched.

   "This explosion could kill dozens of men,“ he said. They both knew it, but somehow, saying it out loud made it sound more real.

   "It’s probably best you don’t think about it. They were working for the government.”

   "I’m aware.“ Junmyeon took a deep breath, eyes on the key he had to turn so that all the detonations would go off simultaneously. His breath hitched and he looked at the small men scurrying on the screen. They’d soon realise the compound was empty. The explosives were placed in the underground levels of the place, meant to tear apart its foundations and make the whole thing collapse. Junmyeon’s hand started to shake, his composed surface beginning to crumple.

   "Let me.” Jongdae unceremoniously grabbed the brief case from his hands and turned the key. For a couple of seconds, every man on the screen froze before the entire things exploded and the images were replaced by static.

 

“Why did you do it? Why? I’m not _weak ,_ I-”

   "I know.“ Jongdae cut him off. "I’m well aware you’re not weak.”

   Junmyeon had grabbed his friend and dragged him out of the bus. He was almost shaking with anger, both towards himself and at towards friend. He hated the idea of Jongdae taking responsibility for something like that. He hated the idea of his friend being the one behind such a massive crime.

   "You… It’s not you responsibility to shoulder. It’s not your responsibility. Those deaths weren’t meant to be on you, they were…“

   "I’m not stupid, Junmyeon.” Jongdae took a step closer to him and placed both hands on his shoulder. “I know I sometimes act like it, but I’m not a moron, believe it or not. I _see_ things. When you think I’m not watching. I can read those expressions of yours.” A ball formed in Junmyeon’s throat. “You may have given yourself the title of leader, and I am okay with that. I’ll follow you. I always have. But there’s no reason only your consciousness be tainted.”

   "I could have done it.“

   "You could have. And then you would have gone into these woods and cried. And upon your return, I would have had to make a joke about how puffy you look, pretending to not know _why._ But I’m not stupid. And I’m not weak either.”

   "I never thought you were, I just-“ Junmyeon let out an exhausted sigh. "Are you all right?”

   "I am. It hasn’t hit me yet. I’m sure it will, but just not yet.“ Jongdae’s voice was steady.

   "Let it be clear that, no matter what happens, I’m the one that did that. You may have turned the key, but I set it all up. It’s not you. You’re not responsible for all of those deaths.”

   "Hey!“ Jongdae let out a small laugh, wrapping an arm around his friends shoulders. "Don’t try and steal my thunder!”

 

However bright his smile had been then, it was quickly forgotten. That night, Junmyeon heard someone leave the bus. He had fallen asleep in an awkward position and his neck ached. Glancing out the window, he recognised Jongdae’s figure retreating into the woods. Already knowing why he had left, the leader stood up and slid out through the window to avoid disturbing his men. He jogged silently into the woods, ears peeled for any found of his friend.

   "Dae,“ he finally called in a low voice. There was no response, but a few second later, leaves nearby rustled, and footsteps of someone moving away could be heard. Junmyeon quickly caught up to him and grabbed his arm. He wasn’t surprised to see Jongdae’s face covered in tears. "Oh, Jongdae,” he said softly. He pulled the young man into his arms, carefully wrapping him up in a warm hug.

   "How do you do it?“ he whispered. "I knew I would feel terrible and think of their families, but I didn’t think it’d be _this._ I feel like a monster.” Those words were exactly what Junmyeon feared and he didn’t let go of him for a second as he responded,

   "I understand. I know what you mean. But you’re not. You’re not any different from last year, or the years before that. You haven’t changed.“ He promised. His friend let out a small sob and started to return the hug, his arms almost crushing the life out of Junmyeon. "Neither of us are.”

   "I checked the news. They were 60. Not one made it out. Their families were shown crying. Are we really helping? They hate us. Even if they hate the government, they always end up hating us more.“

   "I know.” Junmyeon lead Jongdae to a tree and they both sat down beneath it, Jongdae’s face buried in his neck. His tears were still flowing abundantly and wetting Junmyeon’s shirt.

   "How do you do it?“

   "Do what?”

   "Stand it. Stand having killed those people. And many others. And many more to come, for a fight that may never result in our victory.“ Jongdae’s arms tightened around him again.

   "I don’t know.” That was a lie. “That’s a lie.”

   "Tell me.“

   "No. You’ll tease me.”

   Jongdae pulled away, wiping his tears. “I’ll tease you until you tell me.”

   "Ah-“ he took a deep breath. "I started when you home town was being raided. You were losing everything and you asked me for help, you remember?”

   "You were someone I looked up to.“

   "You asked me and I couldn’t say know. I had the money and power to do something about it, even if that thing was terrible. So I did it. I kept the raiders away. They didn’t come back. And you told me you wanted to join me.”

   "I did.“

   "That terrified me. What I had done made me sick. I couldn’t eat or sleep. And you told me you wanted to join me. And you thanked me. You thanked me for murdering those people. You were so grateful.” Junmyeon took a deep breath, voice a bit shaky. “I didn’t want you involved. I wanted to see that pure smile again. I guess it’s easier for me to commit atrocities and to know that you’ll still be there, smiling, than it is for me to see you like this.”

   Jongdae didn’t reply. His arms tightened around him again and stayed silent for a while.

   "I’ve always looked up to you. Somehow, I believed I was invisible to you. That you couldn’t see just how much you meant to me. I don’t think you do. But it’s comforting to know I wasn’t invisible.“

   Junmyeon chuckled. "You’re hard to miss.”

   "I’ll take it as a compliment.“

   "It is, trust me.”

   "Does that mean you can’t take your eyes off me?“ Jongdae teased.

   "In other words,” he admitted. There was a long pause and Junmyeon turned his head to look at his friend, curious as to why he’d gone silent. Apparently, he hadn’t expected a straight forwards answer to his teasing and he was blinking rapidly, face red. “Just… come here.” Junmyeon pulled him to his chest and laced an arm around his waist. There was a couple of seconds of anticipation, as their looked into each others eyes, before their lips met. It only lasted briefly as an unexpected tear rolled down Jongdae’s cheek and he hid his face in Junmyeon’s chest.

   They sat there against the tree for quite a while, not exchanging another word or doing anything more than mutually comforting each other.  

**Author's Note:**

> requested on my tumblr @shxngri-la


End file.
